Its been a few weeks since I last blogged, work has taken its toll and I have struggled to keep up to my once a week update. This weeks is symptomatically a couple of weeks behind, and is brought to you courtesy of another 12 hour flight with Mr Branson.
This blog is more of a infotainment piece, mainly inspired by the lack of information I found available on Google or Bing, when searching for "China Work Permit Physical Inspection", or "How to get a work permit in China", and "What does the physical inspection entail?" - I got very few usable returns, so I decided to create one myself that in a hope that it may help those poor unfortunate soles wishing to work in this god forsaken country - don't get me wrong god may have forsaken China - but to some of us its become a way of life.
To begin, I must look back - I have lived and worked in China for ever, and have never had to undergo a medical examination. Which to the majority of my compatriots is confusing, its pretty confusing to me also, I have held numerous residents permits and several work permits, in at least two provinces, each obtained without having to endure the misery or embarrassment of a medical examination. The norm. requires you to undergo the routine of a strip searched, finger up the bum cough and drop type of an entry examination (I thought). The Chinese like to put everyone through a throughly embarrassing medical examination to ensure they you do not bring any contagious diseases into their puritanical country, or at least was the answer given to me when asking the question "why?".
Anyway the reason for this post was to detail the process of examination rather than explore the reasons.
You are then ushered into a changing room - where you keep you trousers, skirts, pants on and adorn a fetching terry towelling gown sized for pigmy's and lepricorns, that barely covers your naked upper half. Hide your belongings into a locker and journey to the next office on the row of 6-8 innocuous rooms leading off the main alley. Here they will insert needles into your main blood vain, extracting 2 veils of pure Western nectar with such professionalism and panache that Dracula himself would have been proud, a jab, a suck and a plaster are the last you see of 10fl oz of bright red vampire juice.
Next onto an examination reserved in the west for pregnant moms and drug smugglers - ultrasound, or scanning your belly with some cold gel and a strange shaped computer mouse - not sure what they are looking for but the women running it could easily play the part the wicked witch in the west. Not sure if she is trying to scan the size of your liver or read the bed sheet label beneath you, she has the bed side manner of hannibal lecture and Adolf himself would be impressed with her way of dealing with infidels.
A general examination follows, with contrastingly a man so nice he could be too nice??? He tests your blood pressure and has a good feel of your fat stomach before slapping you on the bum and wishing you all the best - the female version I am told requires a good old breast examination and search for the lost treasure of the Inca tribe - still you women will be complicated!
An X-Ray of your chest region is conducted by a couple of giggling girls - not sure if its over exposure to gamma radiation or the fact that they cant believe there luck every time they get paid to scan the insides of another dumb lowai, either way they are pleasant and don't require you to expose anything more than a smile whilst the radiation equivalent to Chernobyl drains into and out of your body.